SOUND Team my ass! These guys are something altogether different...but who knows what that is?

Every morning it's the same damn thing. Those miserable fucking chickens out on the lawn and the unholy racket they make. I swear I'm gonna put coolant in their feed tomorrow. But for now all I ever hear is -

Beck, beck, beck, beck, beck, beck, beck, beck, beck, Beeeccckk, beck, beck, beck, beck

Okay, a little help here. I don’t know what to make of this, but maybe you do. I tell you what, I’ll send you the disc if you want, you give her a whirl, then send the disc back (cuz, after a few months, this thing has grown on me) along with a short bit telling me what the fuck this thing is all about…

Any takers? Because, quite frankly, I’m stumped. Don’t know what to make of these cats. It’s sort of Beck-ish, but not so pop oriented. It’s like some crack-crazed hillbillies were let loose with some recording equipment, samplers and such, and got all moonshined up to fuck around with the songs they’d always played while sittin’ on the porch.

No, that isn’t it. Not at all. See what I’m saying here, I don’t have the slightest idea about what this thing is. It’s filled with funky little snippets of this, that, and the kitchen sink being torn out and tossed onto the hood of and old Chevy pick-up. I hear some dude honkin’ a harmonica in a few spots. There’s songs buried under noises, distorted yelps and comments. And it seems to me that they do the majority of their work on acoustic guitars. Like a really, really, really fucked up blues take.

Isn’t that what Beck did? But what does Confucius say about the guitar? He, of course says you should "rock it, like Ozzy". Go figure.

But it don’t mean much right here, in these words I’m spewing, cuz I still can’t make out what I hear. Not in the "it’s unintelligible" sense, but in the "I know there’s songs here, somewhere, because I hear ‘em, my toe’s-a-tappin, and I feel like having that fifth beer already" way.

Grabbin my old lady and dancing barefoot on the porch to "Emotional Swings". Fuck, I’m the hillbilly now. Maybe they’re hillbillies with enormous and unusual powers that reduce all who listen to…

See what I’m saying people, I need some help here…Someone, please!

I’m not stupid; "Boogie Fever" ain’t serious. I know it ain’t. But "Deutschland Man" probably is, and that is pretty fucking scary.

Oh wait a second! I get it now. HAHA, that’s it, this whole SOUND Team thing is a insane crank on country music. A fuckin’ dead on perfect one too. Or is it just that in fits and spurts? "Folkswinger" definitely is. It absolutely is. Maybe.

Help!

Although I can relate to the non-conformist anthem (ahem!) "Heed My Words", it’s a bitch to be something special these days, all of the good gigs are cornered and it’s a real king-hell headache to dig up your own niche. I mean who wants to be a punk nowadays considering what Blink 182’s done to that whole schtick? And who has the stomach to go totally metalhead? The rap/rock ranks are overflowing, and the urban cowboy country jive just don’t hold water anymore – at least not since everyone caught on to the Garth Brooks comet. So we’re sort of stuck now, aren’t we?

So what do these guys want from us? I can’t even tell what the hell they’re up too. I feel helpless. But, alas kiddos, I have a plan. Just send me a note and I will have the SOUND Team immediately fire off one of these nifty little enigmatic discs straight to YOUR ADDRESS! Then you can dig the sounds and write’em up as you hear them. Once we get all of these diverse opinions gathered up we’ll be able to present a collective vision of these visionaries (?), or nitwits (?), or whathaveyou’s. Because right now I’ve failed you faithful readers, and for that I apologize. I’ve let you down. I can’t pin ‘em down this time…and I’m all broke up and shit about that. So are ya gonna help, or what?

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